It can be hard to find your tribe as a newly pregnant mother, or even just as a mother in general. We have our pre-pregnancy friends of course, and don’t undervalue them whatever you do, but a mama tribe can be invaluable.
Have you heard the expression, “Your vibe attracts your tribe”? I can’t emphasize how true this statement actually is. Express yourself, share the things you love, seek out likeminded people… they will come to you. Or maybe you’ll find a group that falls in line with your philosophies along your quest. So this may be the time to think about what your parenting philosophies even are. How do you picture family life in your home? How do you want to raise your child? Then surround yourself with people who share your sentiments.
I floundered in and out of parenting groups until I finally found my tribe while pregnant with my third baby in 2005. The difference was that I actively sought a group whose members were doing the things I wanted to with this new baby. This included babywearing, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, gentle discipline and natural birth. So a simple yahoo group search later, and I stumbled upon the group that is now known as the Attachment Parents’ Village Calgary. I found my tribe in that group, and later in the Babywearing Calgary group as well. In Lethbridge I had to work to build my tribe, and thus the Bridge City Slingers was born. Then even later, I found my tribe in my roller derby league. And now almost 10 years later, I still value all of those tribes, I coach junior roller derby, and I co-lead the babywearing group.
I am not saying join those specific groups that became my tribe, but I am saying it is important to find a tribe that nourishes you. It is important to find a tribe that will lift you up when you are in need, and where you feel like a valuable member.
My one caution is don’t join a mommies group, just because everyone is a mom. While that can be a great place to start, as you may find some people you connect with, don’t stay just for the sake of staying. If the only commonality you have in your tribe, is that you’re all mothers, that is not necessarily going to be the most fulfilling tribe.
So go out there, be intentional, be honest, be authentic, and your vibe WILL attract your tribe.